Monday, September 18, 2006

Answers

"Ask, and you shall receive" - right? I have answers. It's amazing what you can find out about yourself when you take some time to really think, meditate and pray. For the most part, I have had the answers all along, but I get distracted and get all caught up in achieving the latest and greatest. I have this crazy need to win...to achieve... and I forget why I am doing what I am doing in the first place. So when I don't win(speaking figuratively)...and when I don't achieve...when I have to miss a race...or when I bonk at mile 11 like I did yesterday, I lose my enthusiasm quickly. And that is a problem that needs to be resolved. As a matter of fact, that is precisely what I am trying to do by running another marathon in December.

I want to be steady.

I want to establish myself as a marathoner. I want to knock out several century rides. I don't want to have any doubt in my mind that this is a fad. It is part of who I am, and I want to absorb this evolving part of me slowly. I am notorious for diving head first into things and then getting burned out. I've told you before - I am all or nothing. But this is a chance to change that.

There are many other reasons to run a marathon besides "achieving the next level". I can, as I am doing now, try out a new training plan and compare the results. I can enjoy what it feels like to become an experienced runner. I can work on my speed. I can work on my body composition. I can enjoy the scenery. I can take time to consider raising money for charity - I have several friends and relatives who are enduring or recovering from cancer right now. I can relax a little because this is not new territory.

And so what if I had to miss the triathlon yesterday. So what if I didn't make it through my long run yesterday. The important thing is that I came back today with a good cross training effort. I set out on my bike at lunch, and about 8 miles from work the flood gates opened up in the sky...I was remembering why I do this stuff as I climbed the "3 Steps" (3 stairstep hills out in the countryside where my coworkers and I ride), and it was like celebration from Mother Nature. I took in the rain with open arms and absorbed the experience. And I vowed to do the same with my new marathon journey.

10 comments:

Michele said...

I can't believe you rode in that rain yesterday, that was a real downpour.
Glad you are feeling better about your taining.
Signed up for Vegas yet?

david said...

One of the things I love about running it that it give me time to think, to be just with me. I am always amazed with the lessons I learn about myself. Hang in there...

rice said...

Awesome!

Rice.

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy reading your blog--so many of us who do tris, etc do have that burning desire to race, to train, to acheive. Then it's hard for our brains to stop. I'm glad you've got it worked out in your head--the only insight I can offer is that you do A LOT of races--fun, yes, but stressful and draining, (my opinion only of course)--I did 5 tris this summer and I feel like I did 2 too many. The steady training, the building, etc, sounds good to me too. Just being an active person and enjoying all that life gives. Good luck, I will keep reading!

Lana said...

anonymous - thanks for your nice comments...I have to say that I think you are right about my doing too many races. Although my friend Michele does more than I do and she seems to be fine. I think she deals with the stress better than I do. I put a lot of pressure on myself, and sometimes I forget to enjoy it!!

Lance Notstrong said...

Maybe you should throw in some "bike rallys" that are just for fun. Riding 100K, chatting with friends, and meeting new people at rest stops can be a welcomed break from the racing grind.....and you get your mileage in :-)

Papa Louie said...

Way to enjoy the moment!!! The here and now is what we need to be passionate about. Thankful for the past! Live the moment! Tomorrow will come.

Cliff said...

My brain shutted down after erading the several century bike rides..hmmm...yummy.

Lana, whenever I bonk, my enthuasism dies down. But a few days later, it will come back out... :)...weird huh?

Kate said...

Congratulations on the mindset adjustment! We often forget how blessed we are to be fit (and to be able to experience great mornings, great scenery etc) when we focus on the next steps.. Or I know I do.

Rae said...

Exactly!! Racing should totally be fun, and not such a hassle. I got really burnt out on racing last year and decided to just do the ones I really, really wanted to do this season and have enjoyed it a lot more. I think if I kept it up at the rate I did last year I would be so burnt out. And all the supportive bloggers help so much too!! I don't think I would've ever had the guts to run a marathon or even think about maybe getting into tris one day if it wasn't for the great bloggers.