Ups & Downs of the Final 15

Final 15 Ups:

I am slowly but surely starting to like yogurt.

Yogurt is my replacement for ice cream.

I have realized that I cannot run for 2 hours and survive the rest of the day on 1100 calories.

I have been able to eat mexican fajitas w/out the chips and tortillas.

I feel more control over my diet, and I am a control freak, so that suits me just fine.

I can feel a difference in my body composition, even though I'm not satisfied with the movement, or lack there of, on the scale.

I am no longer craving chocolate.

I feel much better.

I haven't thrown in the towel. I've made some mistakes, but I've gotten back on track. I am optimistic that I will reach this goal.

Final 15 Downs:

The scales are stuck on 129. I attribute this to a not so great weekend last weekend, followed by a stomach virus, followed by being starved and ravenous. I don't know if I actually lost some weight then gained it back or what, but they last time I weighed it said 129, the time before said 130, the time before - 129. Either way, I haven't lost any weight since the first week.

The whole logging and blogging every day just did not take. Not at all. Like I have time to do that during baseball season...what was I thinking? I am logging pretty much everything I can, but the blogging is going to have to come more sparingly. You know it's not a good idea when your own diet is causing you so much stress it makes you want to eat a french fry. And I don't even like french fries.

The early stages of changing how you eat just suck. I'm always wanting something different than I have to eat. Then if I give in and let myself have something I shouldn't, I want to devour it because I know it'll be ages before I can have it again. And it's always on mind, always lingering...I'll be glad when it's just second nature. I swear when I get there I'm not letting it go again. I had all this under control in 2003...I didn't eat sweets and didn't want them and had lost several pounds. Then I went on a cruise, where the dessert is free. Free dessert, I said. How can you not take the dessert when it's free? I found out, because I've been craving sweets ever since. It's always back and forth - I eat them for a while, and then I don't eat them because I need to shed a few pounds for a race or something. But the craving is always there...ever since the cruise.

Final 15 Status:

On the days I workout hard in the morning, I'm finding time to make eggs(1 yolk + 2 whites), and then oatmeal. When I don't workout in the morning I just have oatmeal. It just works better than way for me.

I'm still mostly eating the Lean Cuisine and Weight Watchers Smart Ones meals, and when I'm not I'm making fairly good decisions.

Dinner is still a work in progress. This one is hard for two reasons. 1 - My husband and 2 boys want a real dinner...not a weight watchers meal. And 2 - this is a busy time of year, and feeling that starving feeling in your stomach when you realize it's 9p.m. and you haven't eaten yet, is going to happen sometimes, even with the best effort to keep healthy snacks handy. I'm getting better at eating "my food" while I watch J.T. and the boys eat what I'd rather have, but I'm not out of the woods on this yet. However, if "what I'd rather have" is keeping the "pounds I'd rather NOT have" on my lower half, then it's really not what I'd rather have, right? Right.

All that said, I'm still working on it. I haven't gotten it mastered yet, but don't give up on me. Like my friend Don told me once - "It's a marathon, not a sprint."

I do have more and interesting stuff to blog about, so check back soon...