Thursday, February 28, 2008

Who do you think you are?

The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.

- William James (1842 – 1910)


My problem, lately, has been that I don’t think I am an Ironman Triathlete. It’s cold outside, and when I get home from work I want to curl up by the fire place with hot chocolate instead of going to the gym and lifting weights. My inability to turn down the chocolate around Valentines Day has planted thoughts in my head that I am not a healthy eater. The 2 or 3 days per week of sleeping in has turned into 4 or 5 days per week, convincing myself that I am not a hard core, early rising, dedicated triathlete.

So who am I?

Let me introduce you to my alter-ego, Lazy Lana – uh, no – let’s call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.” The girl has serious roots here; she began taking shape when I was a child and liked to sleep until 10 a.m. during the summers. She further developed in High School, when she ate everything she wanted until she realized that she couldn’t button her jeans anymore, at which time she panicked and starved herself for 2 months or until she could get back in them. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named spent way too much time at the Dairy Queen in college, and had a rude awakening when she realized that she actually had to put some effort into her college classes, unlike her high school classes where she breezed through effortlessly and never made B. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had a really tough time when she suddenly found herself 19 years old, 2nd semester of college, married, baby on the way, working at the Wal-Mart service desk to help make ends meet. This time period, though, was the beginning of the fall of the dark girl. Somebody else had to step up…someway…somehow.

Just like the Dark Lord, though, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named does not go down without a fight. Give her anywhere to plant a seed, and the next thing you know she’s sprouting all over the place - stifling my morning workouts and sabotaging my strength training. Soon thereafter, I do not see an Ironman-In-Training when I look in the mirror. I see the girl who wants to sleep in, the one who goes for the chocolate, the one who feels out of control.

Enough of that.

Having tasted the life of a marathoner and triathlete, I know better who I am, even when it’s not who I am currently portraying. I am not She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

I am Lana.

Early riser.

Healthy eater.

Ironman in Training.

I got out of bed at 4:30 this morning and met Coach Troy for a 1hr 50min date full of Spinervals. When the alarm went off, I didn’t think I could get up. When you don’t know for sure who you are before you go to sleep at night, you aren’t going to know any better when the alarm sounds and it’s still dark and cold outside and you are warm and comfy. The only thing I could hang on to was the history of this scenario – the one where everything in me says “stay in bed,” but something that I can’t explain finally convinces me to get up and keep the commitment I made to myself. And the ending is always the same – I am so unbelievably glad that I did it, it gets a little easier the next morning, and then the next, and the next.

11 comments:

IronJenny said...

Hey, I'm lazy and I'm an Ironman!
;-)
xoxo
Jenny

My Life & Running said...

She-who-must-not-be-named... you truly have come so far in life. Remember that at your 4:30 a.m. wake up call! ;)

Lisa said...

Wow, you really hit it on the head as to what you and most all of us have gone through. :)

TJ said...

eating chocolate is a requirement for ironman training....

Benson said...

OK tuff girl, you win. She-who-must-not-be-named is a goner.
Glad Lana is getting back on track. Don't neglect proper sleep, it's critical during IM training.

kmholt7 said...

I am not an ironman, nor a triathele, nor a marathoner. I am merely a potential half-marathoner who gets up at 3:50 M-F and 5:30 Saturday to run so I don’t sacrifice time with my daughter. Maybe it will help to know there’s others out there in the dark too!

Steve Stenzel said...

"Ironman is training" is a title that can seem intimidating. Some days are better than others. Some are a killer ride, others are a pizza and a beer.

Christine said...

We all can't be perfect everyday. Ive been trying to do "my best" in school until I realized that doing "my best" would mean cutting out some workouts. Therefore I would not be doing "my best" with my training, so on and so forth. There are so many hours in the day and our lives are divided amongst so many other commitments. Somedays you have to take sacrifices in some areas...which you know better than anyone being a wife, mother, triathlete, career woman, etc. You are doing great. Keep the negative thoughts out! :)

jahowie said...

You are way too hard on yourself. I know it's hard and I beat myself up from time to time, but you are doing great!! Most people wouldn't even think of getting out of bed at 4:30 to train!! Keep your chin up. Spring will be here soon......I hope. :-) Have a great weekend!!

Lauren said...

Chocolate is your friend. You shouldn't talk badly about it. Great post. I struggle with the lazy bug too...

You're just much better at overcoming it!

J~Mom said...

I love your posts!