Thursday, April 13, 2006

Week 18 - Day 3: Searching For Motivation

I got up Wednesday morning, got suited up with my running clothes and my gear, and set out for 6 miles through town. All in spite of the fact that I did not want to, and I would have rather laid in bed until 7 am. But I was hoping that the early morning run in the early days of spring would bring back some motivation. Just like it used to. I used to love to get out and start my day off with a 6 or 7 mile run through town while watching the sun rise and listening to the birds the sing. I used to feel this great appreciation for life and health with every step and every breath as I was running. But it's just not doing it for me lately. I felt like I was exerting major effort with every step, and was barely keeping a 10 min/mile pace. It was frustrating. I felt heavy, probably because I am, now that I've gained like 6 lbs in the past 10 weeks. I am really down and out about all this. Where has the joy of running gone? Where's the passion? The mental fortitude? The hunger for competition? At this point, I am running for 1 reason: To reach my goal of completing the marathon - because I started it and do not want to be a quitter.

I have searched the net for some motivation...and have found a little here and there. But not really anything to really rekindle the fire. I think that if I could drop these 6 lbs, that might just do the trick...but I am having a very difficult time with it. It's like my motivation for eating right has gone down the drain with my motivation for running. I really don't like this. I hope I'm not dead in the water. So for the meantime, I will continue searching for motivation...

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